:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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