Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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