have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
