He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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