U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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