Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I supernannyed him into submission
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
