I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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