brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize