I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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