Operation Purity has been aborted
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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