He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
