i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
