If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
