Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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