i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
