this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
