his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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