time to smoke my breakfast
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
