this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
