my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
handjob tips. give me some.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
