She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
