I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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