ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
This baby is an asshole
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My penis needs a shock collar
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.