I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..