CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.