After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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