You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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