Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
