i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I love having hate sex.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
