The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Found the puke drawer
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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