we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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