so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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