yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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