I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
