Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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