should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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