Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
