I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
