i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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