You're completely useless in the revolution.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
