every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
