Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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