Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
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I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I can feel your judgement through the phone
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