Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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