I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
