best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
