Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
