i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
