Please, let me fuck your mom
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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