Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
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I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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