He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
