the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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