i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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