If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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