I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
