bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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