He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
