Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize