He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
