plz talk dirty to me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
